If you don’t recycle you’re an asshole.

If you don’t know what the Pacific Garbage Patch is, go here.

If you don’t know how plastic oceans affect your food, go here.

If you haven’t seen the Story of Stuff, go here.

If you waste drinkable water on your lawn and don’t understand the impending global water crisis (mostly the fault of mass agriculture), go here.

If you waste paper, use Styrofoam, and abuse paper cups in the name of convenience, you’re an asshole. I’m looking at you, basic bitches. Those Starbucks cups aren’t recyclable, bring a damn reusable mug with you. Stop being so damn lazy and selfish and think of someone else and the only home you’ve got, asshole.

If you are a parent and you don’t recycle, you’re basically saying “hey flesh of my flesh, I really couldn’t care less if you and your family have clean air, safe drinking water, and plastic-free fish.” Asshole.

If you try to recycle and you don’t know how, you’re an asshole too. Recycling facilities have minimal resources. If you don’t properly sort your recycling or clean out your plastic yogurt containers, they go in the garbage. Learn how to here or here. No one has time (or money) for that, asshole.

If you have access to compost and you don’t use it, you’re an asshole too. Landfills poison our soil and when you throw away an unopened bag of lettuce, that shit does not disintegrate. Stop that shit and find a way to let food decay and go back to the soil you eat from, asshole.

So, stop being an asshole and recycle. Stop being so lazy using so much fucking disposable stuff. Think of everyone else that will come after you. Go outside and appreciate the beauty of the earth around us and take a deep breathe of fresh air. Its never too late to stop being an asshole.

Just suck it up and recycle, asshole.